This week drew a close to the CBT that I have been lucky enough to receive at least fortnightly since January. For almost half a year, I met with my therapist to try and put an end to the horrible OCD thoughts, anxiety and depression by learning new tips and techniques.
Today I wanted to share something that I find very important in my life. Since last year, my anxiety has lead me to become more and more of a recluse and in the past, I have struggled to find the motivation to drag myself out of bed. Without the help of my partner, I would probably still be like that now. This has been so harmful to our relationship because my partner wants me to be the independent, carefree girl that he fell in love with – not somebody who mopes and feels sorry for themselves. He has been incredibly supportive in my journey, including taking interest in my CBT sessions, however now I know that it is truly up to me to build myself up. At the end of it all, the only person who can make you feel better is yourself; people can come and go all the time.
The journey to a happy and comfortable state of mind may be within touching distance or miles away through a long, dark tunnel. We all have our own personal battles, whether that be mild anxiety, low self-esteem, OCD, grief or chronic depression. That being said, it’s important to know that it will not all be okay with a click of the fingers; it takes time and perseverance. Not only this but it may be easier some days than on other days.
For me, I suffer with low confidence and anxiety regarding how I look and how people perceive me. I sunk into a dark depression last year, and ever since, have been doing what I can to try and bring myself back up from the ‘darkness.’ That has included CBT therapy, positive thinking and mindfulness activities. I am no longer in a depressed state of mind, however my self-esteem is still low and my anxiety can still get pretty high leading up to events.
I thought I’d take the time to review the MoodGYM program provided by the charity Mind. You can find it here: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/moodgym (it took a little while to load each page on my mac, but then sometimes my internet can be super slow).
It starts with a ‘Warpy Thoughts Test’ where you have to tick the statements and whether you strongly agree, agree, disagree… and so on. It took about 10 minutes to complete this part (although in each module, it asks you to complete it again… which is quite tedious).