I woke up this morning to the awful news of the terrorist attack at the end of an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester. My heart goes out to all those affected by such a tragic incident that should never have happened. It got me thinking, as most tragedies do, about how we should all keep our loved ones as close as we can because we never know what is going to be round the corner. I truly hope those parents with missing children or have lost their children can find peace. I cannot even imagine the pain they must be suffering. We saw some wonderful acts of kindness as all people fled to help, with taxi drivers offering free fares to safety and hotels opening their doors to people who needed it most. Know that although something so evil has happened, there was love and kindness around at the time and this can help people to try to remain positive.
So I have never really properly posted ‘poetry’ before and this is my first go really. I’m very anxious to post this but it came straight from the heart. Anyone who does this professionally will probably laugh at how bad it is, but anyway time to BITE THE BULLET!!
HERE IT IS….
Just lately I haven’t been inspired to blog (although I have been keeping up a little with Elefriends and other people’s blog posts). However, something that happened at the weekend made me think about how to take care of my well-being a little better. Why is it that my CBT therapist kept telling me to get a hobby? Was she just trying to get me to distract myself, or were there any real benefits from it? Well, I have to say that it definitely is the latter, and I was able to prove that to myself last Saturday.
When you’re feeling depressed, anxious, angry, confused (insert other emotion here) it can be scary. You feel like you’re the only person who feels this way and that it’s not normal. You look at other people’s lives and they seem perfect in comparison to your own. But did you ever think, if every person put their own problems in a pile, you’d probably take yours back? Everyone is fighting a battle, some bigger and more challenging than others. Something that seems so trivial to you may be a mountain of problems for another. The thing is, some people feel able to reach out whereas others don’t, can’t or feel there’s nobody to reach out to.
Today I was feeling low and tearful, so I reached out to Elefriends (an organisation lead by the charity MIND, where you can openly speak about your mental health and meet other people in similar situations). I explained how I was feeling and was worried about how I was going to get through the weekend with this low, horrid mood. A wonderful person gave me the best advice; to write a love letter to myself, much like I would write to a friend I cared about that I needed to cheer up. So, I thought what better place to write this love letter than on my blog, so other people can see it and take the same advice? Perhaps you don’t know how to write kind things about yourself. Or you’re finding it difficult to think of things. You don’t have to read mine, but for me, this is a step that I want to take in order to remind myself that I AM great despite all things (mainly my brain) that tell me that I am not.
This evening, I received a text from my best friend. She told me she was feeling low about herself and unattractive. That she didn’t feel that people ever looked at her and thought, wow, she’s beautiful.
Whilst we know that ‘beauty’ is only skin deep, it got me thinking about how unkind my friend was being to herself, and how we all do it to ourselves all the time. I couldn’t ever imagine telling my friend she was unattractive and that nobody thought she was beautiful. So why is she saying it to herself?
So I haven’t actually blogged for almost a week because I’ve been back to work (busy busy) and also because I’ve felt low. I didn’t want to keep writing negative posts everyday, I wanted to be able to put something upbeat that would help people. Not that there is anything wrong with posting about how you feel but for me I knew I needed to wait for a spark of positivity to inspire me again.
And low and behold, it came!