A love letter to myself.

Self-esteem

Today I was feeling low and tearful, so I reached out to Elefriends (an organisation lead by the charity MIND, where you can openly speak about your mental health and meet other people in similar situations). I explained how I was feeling and was worried about how I was going to get through the weekend with this low, horrid mood. A wonderful person gave me the best advice; to write a love letter to myself, much like I would write to a friend I cared about that I needed to cheer up. So, I thought what better place to write this love letter than on my blog, so other people can see it and take the same advice? Perhaps you don’t know how to write kind things about yourself. Or you’re finding it difficult to think of things. You don’t have to read mine, but for me, this is a step that I want to take in order to remind myself that I AM great despite all things (mainly my brain) that tell me that I am not.

To… well, me!

So you’re reading this because you’re feeling rubbish and I thought it would be a good opportunity to tell you to SNAP out of it. Why? Because you’re great! I know you struggle to see this within yourself, so somebody has got to tell you these things.

To start, lets talk about the things you have achieved in your life. I mean, you went to university and got a degree! Not many people in this world can say they have achieved that level of education to then go onto yet another degree level course; YOU became a teacher! Remember all of those years you spent worrying and thinking you’d never be good enough to teach young children? Just look at you now, two years into your teaching career and inspiring little minds everyday. I bet you wouldn’t have thought that you were going to make such an achievement, but you jolly well did.

Not only that but you also got yourself a lovely boyfriend who does stick by you, despite how much I know you’re worrying that he will have finally had enough and leave you. Yes, your moods are probably hard to live with but he hasn’t left you yet. You have a beautiful home together with two gorgeous dogs and nobody has achieved that for you, you did that yourself! And you know what, if he does begin to tire of your low moods and anxiety, then he isn’t the one for you. You are strong, independent and can handle whatever life throws at you! You have gotten over heartbreak before, and when you felt you’d never find love again, you did. YOU did it. Nobody else.

I know you’re saying now that the past two years have been the most difficult and that you haven’t made any achievements in your life due to the things that are weighing you down. But just because you haven’t made any huge achievements in your life, it doesn’t mean that you haven’t made any at all. Remember those days when you couldn’t get yourself out of bed and you spent your time moping, thinking things would never get better? Well, they did, because you did the work. You forced yourself out of bed on those dark days and that was such a big deal. You looked for support, you attended your CBT sessions and you tried your damnedest to never get back into that position again. You may be feeling low and anxious right now, but you are still overcoming those hurdles. You held parties and attended events that filled you with dread, you faced fears that you didn’t think you’d be able to – see, you can do it!

Last of all, you may think you don’t like what you see in the mirror. You may not feel confident and you may be self conscious. You may worry what people think of you. How many people have told you that you are beautiful, or attractive? Can you list those people? How can you deny what these people are thinking? You are perfect in your own way. You are a kind natured person who would do anything for anyone, putting other people before yourself. You are a shoulder to cry on for your close friends and even those little ones that you teach. You brighten somebody’s day at least once a week and your doggies’ day everyday! Remember that beauty is only skin deep; true beauty is your wonderful personality. Don’t let your sense of humour and kind nature be hidden by dark clouds of fear, anxiety and sadness.

You keep trudging on through this fog, girl, because one day you’ll be on the other side. When you feel like you can’t do it, look at how far you have come. You’ve done so many wonderful things and you’ll do more in the future. I promise that you are amazing and you shouldn’t ever let anyone (YOURSELF!!) tell you that you are not. 

Love, me x

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