Today I wanted to share something that I find very important in my life. Since last year, my anxiety has lead me to become more and more of a recluse and in the past, I have struggled to find the motivation to drag myself out of bed. Without the help of my partner, I would probably still be like that now. This has been so harmful to our relationship because my partner wants me to be the independent, carefree girl that he fell in love with – not somebody who mopes and feels sorry for themselves. He has been incredibly supportive in my journey, including taking interest in my CBT sessions, however now I know that it is truly up to me to build myself up. At the end of it all, the only person who can make you feel better is yourself; people can come and go all the time.
A step in my journey has involved thinking about my own personal goals. These may be long-term, such as where I want to be in a year or ten years time. Or, they can be much smaller goals, such as how I’m going to get through the day on my own. A couple of months ago, I would spend my time off work moping around the house, full of negativity and feeling depressed and generally crap about myself. I wouldn’t get dressed, I wouldn’t want to see friends. This week is my first week alone since I have decided to take responsibility for my mind and try to tackle this negative behaviour. Today I have set myself small goals to get me to the end of the day, and I’m going to do this everyday for the rest of this week. Hopefully, by the end, I won’t need to set too many goals for the day as it will become second nature.
Setting small goals will mean that they’re easier to meet, so I’m not going to be setting myself anything that I won’t be able to achieve today. I will tick off each thing as I do it, to give me a good sense of achievement, and anything else I manage to do today that is not on my list will only be a great positive!
If you’re like me, and you struggle with long days on your own, stuck in your own mind, please do give it a try. I’ll be posting again to let you know how it goes. Remember to make small, personal goals (that means don’t give yourself something to achieve that you won’t be able to, or because someone else thinks you should, this is about you!) and tick them off as you go. It might be as simple to you as getting up and having breakfast, then going for a walk. You might even set yourself larger goals, such as travelling somewhere alone! I’d love to hear from you.
Good luck today and be positive.
PS, here is today’s list of mine: