Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat… to name a few of the websites that the majority of us use in our day to day lives. It helps us to build bonds with friends who live far away, keep in touch with family members and very often it is a superb support network whenever you need anything. Forget asking Google; your friends on Facebook are bound to give a quick, reliable answer to your query about where the best place to get a burger is.
However, social media has only contributed to the downfall of my own self-esteem and confidence. Here, though, is why I won’t remove myself from social media altogether:
- I can spend a long time, even hours, looking at other girls’ Instagram feeds. I’ll look at their perfect hair, their perfect lives and how amazing they are in general. The girls that I look at are always on holiday or travelling to far and wide edges of the Earth, showing off their tanned abs as they do it. This only makes me miserable. I think about my own life. I’m lucky to get one abroad holiday a year, I always seem to be working and it doesn’t seem like I go on date nights or out with friends enough to compete with them. But that’s just the point. Should we feel we have to compete with anyone? Are we not giving ourselves a hard time by telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough as we are? I won’t delete my Instagram because why should I? Why should I feel that my posts are inferior? Deleting my Instagram will not solve the problem I have, and that is the way I view myself. I can compare myself to any person in the street just as easily. That is the problem to tackle.
- Social media is the reason I spend hundreds of pounds on hair appointments. I want perfect hair, and by perfect, I want identical hair to the celebrities and rich women I stare at for hours. This has only hurt my bank balance, my hair and still my self-esteem. This is because my hair will never look like those celebrities, no matter how much I pay. After all, I don’t have a personal stylist on speed dial whenever I want to leave my house. My own brain tells me that nothing is good enough. I occasionally still google hairstyles but this is something I have forced myself to stop doing. Comparing yourself to others is so damaging. I’m trying to learn to love what I see in the mirror instead, and be happy for others and what they post online, rather than bitter. Yes, I still spend hundreds on my hair. That is also a habit I hope to kick one day.
- Facebook can be evil in that you see friends having a great time whilst you’re sat at work, or even worse, at home doing nothing. You wonder why your life became so dull and so boring. I constantly wonder how they afford these lavish holidays to Dubai and these posh meals out with their boyfriends. Me and my own partner have a strict spending limit on food! We can’t afford to eat out all the time! Then I decided to spin it around a little and think about the things that I have posted on Facebook recently, and how that has probably come across to others. I remember I posted about moving into my first home with my partner, getting my two beautiful dogs Frank and Bella, as well as posting a selfie every time I had my hair done. To others I may look like I have a wonderful, happy life. Little do people know, I sit indoors crying sometimes at what I see in the mirror, feeling like I am not enough and that nobody likes me. Really, Facebook is like a frame that you can hide behind. Nobody puts a horrible picture in a frame.
I wish I had all of the answers on how to be confident. I currently see a therapist to work on the issues I have with my self-esteem. It is something you have to work at. I am more than prepared to battle with my own mind in order to one day look in the mirror and say to myself “You are beautiful, just the way you are.”